our train out of philly leaves at 5:15 tomorrow morning (it's 1 am now) so i really have very little time to do this. but i'm not sleepy.
i really liked philadelphia. i would totally come back here to hang out. everybody is nice and their accents crack me up. this crowd was one of the best crowds i've ever been in. worst and best in two shows. total opposite of new jersey. everybody was singing along, everybody was standing, nobody was smoking and people were sipping beers, not chugging. people were into it and the intensity of the show was CRAZY. trent seemed like he was going to burst. it was awesome. and when people were talking or being annoying, people had no trouble yelling at them to shut the fuck up. philly crowds have a reputation for being vocal (i hear them screaming when i watch flyers games on tv) so it's cool.
here are my very quick notes:
-MONSTER sound. i can't believe the sound system in that place. it was so fucking loud but not distorted. crystal clear and beautiful. wow.
-they played the wretched in the rotating spot after the frail. that's where they played reptile last time. i was SO EXCITED to hear wretched but then disappointed that i wasn't going to get reptile because it's one of my favorites and i LOOOOOOOVE the way robin plays the guitar part after "Devils speak..." ... but then SURPRISE! they played reptile in the encore after trent introduced it as one of their favorites. SWEET. also we got DOWN IN IT which is exciting because i've seen this band 22 times now and i've only seen down in it 4. robin did the rain rain go away part. he really can't sing. we also got me, i'm not. i've been dying to hear that live since i heard it on year zero. and we got the great destroyer. i wanted to laugh at it live. and i did. they skipped hand that feeds. this pleases me.
-trent totally fucked up the lyrics to the great destroyer. he sang the same verse twice. whoops.
-i noticed the philly crowd will cheer for ANYTHING. a loud chord, a jump, a pause, a bright light. WHOOOO!!!
-after "Gave up" as the big screen comes down robin stays out by himself messing around with the guitar like trent did during the last tour. it's awesome.
-during the greater good, when they do that projection of trent's mouth, he got really saucy with it. he was licking his lips and stroking his face. i always like saucy trent.
-at the end of survivalism trent was moaning and panting. i didn't really get it. survivalism is really good live. like so fucking full of energy. i don't love the song on the album but live it's great.
-hockey arenas make the best concert venues because they have such wonderful air conditioning systems. after izod in nj i was sweating like crazy but here i was going just as nuts but wasn't sweating. fabulous.
-trent said "here's some really REALLY old shit"... and down in it came on. i know i said that already but whatever.
-some guy crashed the stage during down in it and robin kind of paused for a second, seemed to approve and kept playing. trent pretended it wasn't happening. it took 5 guards to tackle this guy down. homeboy was on a mission.
-ok, i notice robin a lot when i'm watching the show regardless of what's going on, so i didn't notice this last time but tonight i realized that he gets lots and lots of solo attention. lots of spotlights just on him. JMJ doesn't really get any special attention. but robin must have had at least 8 spotlights on just him. maybe he demanded more attention? because that's kind odd. i don't recall aaron getting much solo attention. whatev, though. robin milks it.
-trent was ridiculously chatty. he said that he's starting a very bad trend of talking at shows and he plans to stop. he mentioned like, growing up in pennsylvania and stuff like that. then he mentioned that when he first started, the crowd was full of sweaty vampire dudes "but now there's a lot of hot chicks in the front." that was followed by some chick throwing panties onstage. i never thought i'd hear trent reznor say "hot chicks" in concert and i never thought i'd see panties thrown onstage at a nin show. robin picked them up and looked really grossed out and tossed them back.
-after he was done talking he said "let's get all dark again shall we."
overall i couldn't have asked for a better birthday show. this crowd was awesome and that fed the band. and this city was good to us, too. i wish the whole vacation had been here instead of wasting my time and money in ny/nj.
ok. long travel day tomorrow.
ooh but i got first class for the way back.
my plan?
get a few drinks in my system and pass out. i won't have time to get anxious if i'm asleep.
Friday, August 29, 2008
surprise buttsecks!
where did that come from?
even though i don't understand why it's everywhere, it's pretty much always a funny caption.
even though i don't understand why it's everywhere, it's pretty much always a funny caption.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
greetings from new jersey
i don't even know where to start with this entry. this trip has pretty much been one big mess.
1. the flight:
virgin america itself is actually really cool. the plane had a good vibe and they had a really good selection of music and tv stuff available. the flight attendants are all really young and cool... and there's this chat function where you can chat with people in other seats. this one flight attendant was probably the most flamboyant gay man in the friendly skies and kept stopping by to like "dish" about life. i don't know why, then, i had a panic attack on the plane. i didn't really know what it was until after, but i completely freaked out. i couldn't really breathe and had to concentrate on making sure i took even breaths. and i wanted nothing more than to just get off the plane. i wanted to open the emergency door and just jump out. it was the strangest feeling. and it had nothing to do with fearing the flight or anything, because i actually really like flying. i really don't know what came over me, but i think it was foreshadowing of what was to come.
2. getting from the airport to the hotel:
so we're given directions and told to take the long island railway to penn station in nyc. ok, so we haul all of our shit to the track they told us to go to, and a train arrived. we tried to get on, but a magical voice came over the intercom (from an info nearby info booth we hadn't seen) and yelled at us that it was a "no passenger" train. the next three trains were no passenger. what the fuck, dude? so finally a train comes and it smells like BO. whatever. so we get to new york, and have to transfer to a new jersey train. we get on and it takes an hour to get to the hotel. we were told 20 minutes. ok... so after all was said and done, we didn't get to the hotel until close to three hours after landing... and that was after 10 travel hours. k bye.
3. getting to the city this morning:
that same train that brought us into nj goes to ny, so we planned on taking that this morning. we rented a car to go to trent later in the day, and we drove it to the station. there were no signs indicating where you may or may not park, so we picked a spot and went to buy tickets. then the guy tells us we can't park where we parked, so we have to go move the car. as we do, the train comes. so we have to wait for the next one. as the time for the next one approaches, an announcement comes on telling us that there has been a fire and train service is discontinued. fuuuuuck. so how the hell are we getting to new york? so i hatch a plan to just drive to the show early, park, and take a train or bus from there to new york. we go... and there's construction on the highway... and it took us ONE HOUR to go THREE MILES. i don't think you can understand our frustration. like, new jersey sucks so hard. everything about this place is ugly and poorly planned and the road was like, gross. holes everywhere and major construction during the day! except for NO because when we got to the source of the problem, it was just a guy picking cones up from the highway. no construction anywhere. >:O then we drive to the show and it's this incredibly like, perilous journey with two almost accidents. we get to the place and it's this big, multi-arena sports complex and we can SEE the izod center (where trent is playing) but can't physically get to it. we ended up driving in circles. if you've seen national lampoon's european vacation, recall the scene where they're driving around in england and chevy chace keeps pointing out big ben and parliament. that is TOTALLY how it went down today. we were both laughing and crying with frustration. OK so we finally get to the arena and call a cab. the can over charged us ($45 for a couple blocks) but we get to ny.
4. new york and getting back to izod:
i'm going to go ahead and say that as of right now my opinion of nyc is that it's really overrated. as i was walking through it, i was really awestruck by the size and might of the place. it really is a very mighty, imposing, intimidating and formidable town. on a whole. but individually, nothing is really that impressive. went to moma and wasn't impressed by a lot of the works they had. a lot of it was only ok. definitely not the best gallery i've ever been to. we walked around and had crepes from those street corner vendors. we passed a very large nhl store and i completely flipped out with excitement... but once inside i quickly realized there was very little i actually wanted to buy. it was SUCH a let down. (i will say i saw a LOT of hockey shirts/hats/jackets today, which is exciting because at home it's all padres or chargers). so time to leave for the show was approaching, and i had heard about this bus that departs from the port authority bus depot that goes straight to izod. we decided to walk there. we were on 53rd and depot was on 42nd. it was a fun walk. just walking through the city is fun because every block is totally different and full of character. and another positive i'll give the city is that it's not really that rude. i was bracing myself for total rudeness, but pretty much everyone has been really nice and helpful. yeah people bump into you on the street, but i think that's an inevitability when that many people are walking in a tiny space. oh and times square? biggest let down fucking ever. so we got to the bus depot, which has like 400 terminals, by th way, and buy our tickets. but the ticket doesn't say where the terminal is. and all the info booths are closed. and everyone we asked couldn't help us. i was so desperate... like, WHERE DO I GO TO GET ON THIS BUS!!! and the show was an hour away. i seriously almost cried at the thought of coming all this way and missing the show. i won't lie, i had two tears. then one official guy in a vest saw me and i think i must have looked really pathetic because he led me to one magical info booth that was open. oh, i should mention we were looking for over an hour. and we were informed that you could catch the bus OUTSIDE... no gate... and the bus was unmarked! what the FUCK?!?!!?!?!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW TO GO OUTSIDE AND FIND AN UNMARKED BUS!? luckily the bus was full of goth kids so i knew it was the right one. GOD.
5. the show itself
this is the only positive thing about the trip so far. i mean, it's a nine inch nails show so obviously i'm going to like it. but first i'll complain about the people in my section. they were the GROSSEST concert-goers i've ever had the misfortune of sitting next to. they didn't know the music, they were more interested in getting up every twenty minutes to either get beer or take a piss, or both. they were into smoking: cigarettes. i'll tolerate pot at a show but cigarettes? fucking gross. where is security?! then there were these drunken girls dancing all sloppily "sexy" and they kept throwing their arms up and blocking my view. whatever. i was like, one of three people in the entire section who was into it. then a guy spilled beer on us. then the guy behind me was pissed off at me for standing up? uh, excuse me? during the ghosts part of the set, i sat down because it's logical. but you really want me to sit down calmly during wish? are you serious?
ok, the good: i liked the length. 2 hours is way better than the 1.5 he played the last many times i saw him. trent was really energetic and loved the crowd. said something about how our energy and communication gave him "the best feeling in the world" or something like that. the lights were innovative and there were a lot of set changes. the set was a little slip-heavy, but obviously the album sounds better live. they did a re-worked version of piggy that was SO saucy and showed off their abilities as musicians, especially josh, and it was SO NOT BORING (spencer). and the ghosts part was awesome... i like watching them play a different instruments. i took a video of it, but forgot my usb cable so i'll post later. it's actually really good quality. it includes trent playing the xylophone. loved it. there was some trent/robin friskiness, as i expected. speaking of robin, i am so glad he's back. at first i was missing aaron because i was so used to him, and let's face it, he's way entertaining. but then reptile came along and i remembered how much i want to bone robin, uh, i mean, how powerful he is as a guitarist. but really, it's so clear and fucking strong when he plays. the only part that i prefer aaron is towards the end of wish- he had this really cool little solo part. otherwise, i love watching robin move. he's such a weird performer. oh, and he's also a totally nice guy. i was remembering back during the last string of shows that whenever jeordie gave out water to the audience, he always dumped half of it on them first. he could never just give you some water. he'd pour it, laugh, then give you the rest. robin was just like, handing them out all lovingly instead of chucking them at people.
justin was kind of weak. he gave it a lot of effort but i don't really think he has the stage presence to be noticed next to trent and robin. i like that he seems into it but there's something about him that makes him lame. it could be that he's not jeordie. who knows.
trent introduced the band... called them his friends and thanked them. it was weird. and during the last song, they did this really cool exit thing. instead of just ending it, they all played and then one by one exited and waved. it's kind of hard to explain, but it was cool. but once again, weird to see them acknowledged individually.
i'm excited about philadelphia. i'm hoping they play meet your master at that show because they didn't here... and i've been dying to hear that one live since year zero came out. it was cool hearing year zero stuff live. in this twilight was beautiful and vessel had a new life when played live.
i think this is pretty much the longest post ever and i doubt anyone read it all the way through. to summarize:
new jersey is a butthole with crappy roads and bad concert-goers
new york is only ok
and i loved this show... especially robin. *
*the first time i ever saw nine inch nails was in june of 2000. after the show, rob was running around filming people's reactions and when he got to me i was obviously out of it because i had just had my ass kicked by the most amazing thing i'd ever seen in my then-14 years, and all i could muster was "robin .... is beautiful.... he did the best performance i'd ever seen..." while katie just looked stunned and nodded. i watched the video once it was posted and wanted to cry because i looked and sounded like such a fucking moron. it was like, why is that all i could say about that amazing show?! now i kind of understand it. this is my first time seeing robin since then and i pretty much have the same stupid reaction. except this time i've seen nine inch nails a lot more than once so i can actually pay attention to other things. ok that's enough really gross robin adoration. i promise i won't do it after the philly show. and i definitely won't mention how cute it is when he curtsies at the end of the show, complete with a very dainty toe-point. cuz he does and it's cute. but that's the end of that.
WAIT I THOUGHT OF TWO MORE THINGS I WANTED TO SAY:
1. robin whispered the part in god given and for some reason that got the crowd really excited
2. in the bathroom, i heard the following exchange between two 50-ish year old women:
-i want to lick trent reznor's butt
-yeah, but then you'd probably get butt hair in your teeth.
you gotta picture that with a really thick new jersey accent. it was funny. k bye.
1. the flight:
virgin america itself is actually really cool. the plane had a good vibe and they had a really good selection of music and tv stuff available. the flight attendants are all really young and cool... and there's this chat function where you can chat with people in other seats. this one flight attendant was probably the most flamboyant gay man in the friendly skies and kept stopping by to like "dish" about life. i don't know why, then, i had a panic attack on the plane. i didn't really know what it was until after, but i completely freaked out. i couldn't really breathe and had to concentrate on making sure i took even breaths. and i wanted nothing more than to just get off the plane. i wanted to open the emergency door and just jump out. it was the strangest feeling. and it had nothing to do with fearing the flight or anything, because i actually really like flying. i really don't know what came over me, but i think it was foreshadowing of what was to come.
2. getting from the airport to the hotel:
so we're given directions and told to take the long island railway to penn station in nyc. ok, so we haul all of our shit to the track they told us to go to, and a train arrived. we tried to get on, but a magical voice came over the intercom (from an info nearby info booth we hadn't seen) and yelled at us that it was a "no passenger" train. the next three trains were no passenger. what the fuck, dude? so finally a train comes and it smells like BO. whatever. so we get to new york, and have to transfer to a new jersey train. we get on and it takes an hour to get to the hotel. we were told 20 minutes. ok... so after all was said and done, we didn't get to the hotel until close to three hours after landing... and that was after 10 travel hours. k bye.
3. getting to the city this morning:
that same train that brought us into nj goes to ny, so we planned on taking that this morning. we rented a car to go to trent later in the day, and we drove it to the station. there were no signs indicating where you may or may not park, so we picked a spot and went to buy tickets. then the guy tells us we can't park where we parked, so we have to go move the car. as we do, the train comes. so we have to wait for the next one. as the time for the next one approaches, an announcement comes on telling us that there has been a fire and train service is discontinued. fuuuuuck. so how the hell are we getting to new york? so i hatch a plan to just drive to the show early, park, and take a train or bus from there to new york. we go... and there's construction on the highway... and it took us ONE HOUR to go THREE MILES. i don't think you can understand our frustration. like, new jersey sucks so hard. everything about this place is ugly and poorly planned and the road was like, gross. holes everywhere and major construction during the day! except for NO because when we got to the source of the problem, it was just a guy picking cones up from the highway. no construction anywhere. >:O then we drive to the show and it's this incredibly like, perilous journey with two almost accidents. we get to the place and it's this big, multi-arena sports complex and we can SEE the izod center (where trent is playing) but can't physically get to it. we ended up driving in circles. if you've seen national lampoon's european vacation, recall the scene where they're driving around in england and chevy chace keeps pointing out big ben and parliament. that is TOTALLY how it went down today. we were both laughing and crying with frustration. OK so we finally get to the arena and call a cab. the can over charged us ($45 for a couple blocks) but we get to ny.
4. new york and getting back to izod:
i'm going to go ahead and say that as of right now my opinion of nyc is that it's really overrated. as i was walking through it, i was really awestruck by the size and might of the place. it really is a very mighty, imposing, intimidating and formidable town. on a whole. but individually, nothing is really that impressive. went to moma and wasn't impressed by a lot of the works they had. a lot of it was only ok. definitely not the best gallery i've ever been to. we walked around and had crepes from those street corner vendors. we passed a very large nhl store and i completely flipped out with excitement... but once inside i quickly realized there was very little i actually wanted to buy. it was SUCH a let down. (i will say i saw a LOT of hockey shirts/hats/jackets today, which is exciting because at home it's all padres or chargers). so time to leave for the show was approaching, and i had heard about this bus that departs from the port authority bus depot that goes straight to izod. we decided to walk there. we were on 53rd and depot was on 42nd. it was a fun walk. just walking through the city is fun because every block is totally different and full of character. and another positive i'll give the city is that it's not really that rude. i was bracing myself for total rudeness, but pretty much everyone has been really nice and helpful. yeah people bump into you on the street, but i think that's an inevitability when that many people are walking in a tiny space. oh and times square? biggest let down fucking ever. so we got to the bus depot, which has like 400 terminals, by th way, and buy our tickets. but the ticket doesn't say where the terminal is. and all the info booths are closed. and everyone we asked couldn't help us. i was so desperate... like, WHERE DO I GO TO GET ON THIS BUS!!! and the show was an hour away. i seriously almost cried at the thought of coming all this way and missing the show. i won't lie, i had two tears. then one official guy in a vest saw me and i think i must have looked really pathetic because he led me to one magical info booth that was open. oh, i should mention we were looking for over an hour. and we were informed that you could catch the bus OUTSIDE... no gate... and the bus was unmarked! what the FUCK?!?!!?!?!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW TO GO OUTSIDE AND FIND AN UNMARKED BUS!? luckily the bus was full of goth kids so i knew it was the right one. GOD.
5. the show itself
this is the only positive thing about the trip so far. i mean, it's a nine inch nails show so obviously i'm going to like it. but first i'll complain about the people in my section. they were the GROSSEST concert-goers i've ever had the misfortune of sitting next to. they didn't know the music, they were more interested in getting up every twenty minutes to either get beer or take a piss, or both. they were into smoking: cigarettes. i'll tolerate pot at a show but cigarettes? fucking gross. where is security?! then there were these drunken girls dancing all sloppily "sexy" and they kept throwing their arms up and blocking my view. whatever. i was like, one of three people in the entire section who was into it. then a guy spilled beer on us. then the guy behind me was pissed off at me for standing up? uh, excuse me? during the ghosts part of the set, i sat down because it's logical. but you really want me to sit down calmly during wish? are you serious?
ok, the good: i liked the length. 2 hours is way better than the 1.5 he played the last many times i saw him. trent was really energetic and loved the crowd. said something about how our energy and communication gave him "the best feeling in the world" or something like that. the lights were innovative and there were a lot of set changes. the set was a little slip-heavy, but obviously the album sounds better live. they did a re-worked version of piggy that was SO saucy and showed off their abilities as musicians, especially josh, and it was SO NOT BORING (spencer). and the ghosts part was awesome... i like watching them play a different instruments. i took a video of it, but forgot my usb cable so i'll post later. it's actually really good quality. it includes trent playing the xylophone. loved it. there was some trent/robin friskiness, as i expected. speaking of robin, i am so glad he's back. at first i was missing aaron because i was so used to him, and let's face it, he's way entertaining. but then reptile came along and i remembered how much i want to bone robin, uh, i mean, how powerful he is as a guitarist. but really, it's so clear and fucking strong when he plays. the only part that i prefer aaron is towards the end of wish- he had this really cool little solo part. otherwise, i love watching robin move. he's such a weird performer. oh, and he's also a totally nice guy. i was remembering back during the last string of shows that whenever jeordie gave out water to the audience, he always dumped half of it on them first. he could never just give you some water. he'd pour it, laugh, then give you the rest. robin was just like, handing them out all lovingly instead of chucking them at people.
justin was kind of weak. he gave it a lot of effort but i don't really think he has the stage presence to be noticed next to trent and robin. i like that he seems into it but there's something about him that makes him lame. it could be that he's not jeordie. who knows.
trent introduced the band... called them his friends and thanked them. it was weird. and during the last song, they did this really cool exit thing. instead of just ending it, they all played and then one by one exited and waved. it's kind of hard to explain, but it was cool. but once again, weird to see them acknowledged individually.
i'm excited about philadelphia. i'm hoping they play meet your master at that show because they didn't here... and i've been dying to hear that one live since year zero came out. it was cool hearing year zero stuff live. in this twilight was beautiful and vessel had a new life when played live.
i think this is pretty much the longest post ever and i doubt anyone read it all the way through. to summarize:
new jersey is a butthole with crappy roads and bad concert-goers
new york is only ok
and i loved this show... especially robin. *
*the first time i ever saw nine inch nails was in june of 2000. after the show, rob was running around filming people's reactions and when he got to me i was obviously out of it because i had just had my ass kicked by the most amazing thing i'd ever seen in my then-14 years, and all i could muster was "robin .... is beautiful.... he did the best performance i'd ever seen..." while katie just looked stunned and nodded. i watched the video once it was posted and wanted to cry because i looked and sounded like such a fucking moron. it was like, why is that all i could say about that amazing show?! now i kind of understand it. this is my first time seeing robin since then and i pretty much have the same stupid reaction. except this time i've seen nine inch nails a lot more than once so i can actually pay attention to other things. ok that's enough really gross robin adoration. i promise i won't do it after the philly show. and i definitely won't mention how cute it is when he curtsies at the end of the show, complete with a very dainty toe-point. cuz he does and it's cute. but that's the end of that.
WAIT I THOUGHT OF TWO MORE THINGS I WANTED TO SAY:
1. robin whispered the part in god given and for some reason that got the crowd really excited
2. in the bathroom, i heard the following exchange between two 50-ish year old women:
-i want to lick trent reznor's butt
-yeah, but then you'd probably get butt hair in your teeth.
you gotta picture that with a really thick new jersey accent. it was funny. k bye.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
we want to go to the party. the party in your tummy.
have you guys ever seen yo gabba gabba on tv? all the songs are really catchy. yeah, it's for little kids but i don't care.
~~~
i'm leaving in a couple days. i'm really excited to be seeing nine inch nails again. during the whole 2005/2006 with teeth explosion, it kind of became routine to be seeing trent all the time. not boring routine, but something rad i got to do all the time. 18 times, actually. then 2007 came around and nothing! not a peep. anyhow, i miss the good ol' days and am really glad that 4 shows are coming up. plus 2, later on. and i suspect he'll have to add another socal date. come on now...
~~~
i'm leaving in a couple days. i'm really excited to be seeing nine inch nails again. during the whole 2005/2006 with teeth explosion, it kind of became routine to be seeing trent all the time. not boring routine, but something rad i got to do all the time. 18 times, actually. then 2007 came around and nothing! not a peep. anyhow, i miss the good ol' days and am really glad that 4 shows are coming up. plus 2, later on. and i suspect he'll have to add another socal date. come on now...
so gross
every once in a while something will happen to me or a friend of mine that is so obnoxious and would never happen if we weren't women.
tonight was a perfect example.
i'm sitting here, miserable (at work, a nail was sticking out of the couch in the break-room and scratched my leg so now i think i have to go get a tetanus shot and i'm all crampy from being on the rag) and waiting for the gold medal basketball game to start. then it occurs to me that a slurpee sounds wonderfully refreshing. there's a 7-11 like, three minutes from my house so it should be no problem getting there and back without anything going down, right?
i bring peek with me, get the slurpee, then on my way back i run into a red light. then this car full of clearly intoxicated men pulls up and i'm immediately uncomfortable. because a group full of big tough guys in a car is a bad thing to begin with, but giving them booze just kicks it up a notch. i leave the window rolled down for peek when we go driving, so i hear them start to yell things. "hey baby what's up? wanna party?" yada yada. rude things. obnoxious things. things men like to yell at women, and i have no idea what makes them think it's ok. then they realize peek is there and start screaming and barking at her, trying to get her to react. so i roll up the window, which only prompts them to scream louder. "oh come on baby why you do that? we just wanna talk"... i just scowl and look forward. then it turns into threats... roll down the window! now! we're gonna get your dog... they're just sitting there laughing and fucking falling over each other being fucking disgusting pigs. all the while it's like COME ON YOU PIECE OF SHIT LIGHT TURN GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanted to have a total thelma and louise moment. you know when the trucker is being all gross and then they blow up his truck? yeah. i wanted to blow up their stupid car.
i know it's this minor thing. but it isn't right. i should be able to go on a quick 7-11 run in my relatively quiet, nice neighborhood without being yelled at by drunken monkeys. this would never have happened if i had had a guy in the car. or if i had been a guy.
yeah, i'm ok. nothing came of it except for my violent daydreams and a moment of anxiety. but it's these minor instances of feeling victimized that women feel and men don't understand that drive me insane. i wish i could flip it around and have these scary oafs be screamed at by even bigger, scarier oafs.
:(
tonight was a perfect example.
i'm sitting here, miserable (at work, a nail was sticking out of the couch in the break-room and scratched my leg so now i think i have to go get a tetanus shot and i'm all crampy from being on the rag) and waiting for the gold medal basketball game to start. then it occurs to me that a slurpee sounds wonderfully refreshing. there's a 7-11 like, three minutes from my house so it should be no problem getting there and back without anything going down, right?
i bring peek with me, get the slurpee, then on my way back i run into a red light. then this car full of clearly intoxicated men pulls up and i'm immediately uncomfortable. because a group full of big tough guys in a car is a bad thing to begin with, but giving them booze just kicks it up a notch. i leave the window rolled down for peek when we go driving, so i hear them start to yell things. "hey baby what's up? wanna party?" yada yada. rude things. obnoxious things. things men like to yell at women, and i have no idea what makes them think it's ok. then they realize peek is there and start screaming and barking at her, trying to get her to react. so i roll up the window, which only prompts them to scream louder. "oh come on baby why you do that? we just wanna talk"... i just scowl and look forward. then it turns into threats... roll down the window! now! we're gonna get your dog... they're just sitting there laughing and fucking falling over each other being fucking disgusting pigs. all the while it's like COME ON YOU PIECE OF SHIT LIGHT TURN GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanted to have a total thelma and louise moment. you know when the trucker is being all gross and then they blow up his truck? yeah. i wanted to blow up their stupid car.
i know it's this minor thing. but it isn't right. i should be able to go on a quick 7-11 run in my relatively quiet, nice neighborhood without being yelled at by drunken monkeys. this would never have happened if i had had a guy in the car. or if i had been a guy.
yeah, i'm ok. nothing came of it except for my violent daydreams and a moment of anxiety. but it's these minor instances of feeling victimized that women feel and men don't understand that drive me insane. i wish i could flip it around and have these scary oafs be screamed at by even bigger, scarier oafs.
:(
Friday, August 22, 2008
ma pauvre, elle est très vieille
elle m'a dit: "il pleut dehors, mais ici, dans la maison, il fait le grand soleil." ...because i called her.
she said that her situation was cruel and called it torture. the thing is, i really agree with her. i avoid thinking about it because it's inconvenient, but every time i talk to her it hits me. here is this woman who cared for me and taught me to walk and speak. her only parisian family members just died, less than a year apart.
let me just say it was retarded of her not to get citizenship. she lived here for years and years... why?! oy.
she tells me the details of her life and they are so sad. it isn't so much what she says but the tone of her voice that shows you how lonely she is. not that she doesn't tell you how lonely she is. and i don't know what to say in response... how can you possibly comfort someone in that situation? so, against my better judgment, i tell her that i'm thinking of visiting her. which somehow turned into me going in march... because she wanted to know WHEN WHEN WHEN WHEEEEN OMG WHEEEEEEN!?!?!?!? it was like peek when you tell her she's going on a walk. so i definitely cannot back out of this one. so i guess i'm going in march? i need to come up with some money.
i hate money. it's what's standing in my way right now. if i didn't have that loan hanging over my head...
she said that her situation was cruel and called it torture. the thing is, i really agree with her. i avoid thinking about it because it's inconvenient, but every time i talk to her it hits me. here is this woman who cared for me and taught me to walk and speak. her only parisian family members just died, less than a year apart.
let me just say it was retarded of her not to get citizenship. she lived here for years and years... why?! oy.
she tells me the details of her life and they are so sad. it isn't so much what she says but the tone of her voice that shows you how lonely she is. not that she doesn't tell you how lonely she is. and i don't know what to say in response... how can you possibly comfort someone in that situation? so, against my better judgment, i tell her that i'm thinking of visiting her. which somehow turned into me going in march... because she wanted to know WHEN WHEN WHEN WHEEEEN OMG WHEEEEEEN!?!?!?!? it was like peek when you tell her she's going on a walk. so i definitely cannot back out of this one. so i guess i'm going in march? i need to come up with some money.
i hate money. it's what's standing in my way right now. if i didn't have that loan hanging over my head...
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
nhl decision makers: you FAIL!
last year after the ducks won the cup, there was a prompt release of a dvd set with all the games from the last two rounds and bonus features. i purchased this set and thus had something to keep me from going crazy with anticipation for the new season.
i figured since this time there was a finals match-up that had the official people creaming with excitement at all the attention it was going to receive, i could expect an even more prompt release. so i've been checking amazon almost obsessively. where is it?! i need my hockey!!!!!
so today i check and yay! it's there... but it won't be released until october 7. what the hell, guys? uh... the season opens the 9th. what the hell do i need the dvds for then you stupid-heads?! obviously, i'm still going to buy it but i just want to know what took so long. there isn't much to do. everything is already recorded so all you need to do is put it together and send it to me!
...i'm so disappointed... ...but they can make it up to me if there are at least a couple of shots of sidney crosby looking miserable.
~
then there's trent. who went ahead and released another wave of tour dates. i knew it was coming because he had some very conspicuous stops missing on his first set and, actually, i think he said more were on the way. whatever. so it looks like vegas and sacramento. and they're on a weekend, which is cool because i really don't have to miss any work or anything.
i just wish there were a few more dates out here. he has this love affair going with the mid-west, but what about arizona? isn't that a major stop? oh, and san diego? damnit trent. how about actually coming to my city? oh well. that would bring my tally up from 4 to 6. i like 6 a lot more.
~
i've been watching a lot of the olympics. they're cool and all, but every time the summer olympics are on i wish they were the winter ones instead. i enjoy watching swimming, gymnastics, diving and track. but isn't it sooooo much better when it's figure skating, speed skating, crazy skiing people, snowboarding, and oh, hockey?
the winter olympics are going to be in vancouver in 2010 and i'm completely serious when i say i want to go. how fucking RAD would it be to watch olympic hockey in canada?!!?!?!? it's the ultimate thing in the ultimate motherland. i can't even think of a parallel. except for maybe, like... well i guess a lot of places would go pretty nuts for olympic soccer. whatever. anyhow, does anybody want to go? it'll be so rad!
(god i can't even imagine how much hotels would be around that time... assuming you can even find one!)
~
i can't believe i have to work tomorrow. i have to go to bed soon, but i have all this energy and feel like i have hours to go before bed. :( i hate money.
~
upcoming goals:
1. go see eleanor antin exhibit at the san diego museum of art
2. go to the science center. i don't necessarily need to go to an imax movie, but i haven't been to the science center since elementary school. i'm sure it's still fascinating.
3. take a camera to the zoo with me this time so i can film the orangutans being hilarious.
4. oh, finish unpacking. i still have crap from my moving adventure in the garage (so my dad has to park outside and he is getting maaaaad) and in the living room. and you can barely navigate through my room. it's just so much woooork.
5. get kung ob woon sen (i should get an award if i spelled that correctly) from taste of thai...before new york trip.
6. obviously, clean up before new york trip because if not, when i get back, my shit is all going to be in a huge pile in my room and i will want to cry.
that's about it.
i'm feeling very scatterbrained, hyper and disappointed that it's so late because now i must try to calm myself and sleep.
au revoir!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
oh, fuck.
people who know us say it works. that it would work, but...
and it was at that point where your mind shuts off and you're not thinking anymore. you can't. you're just doing. and feeling.
years pass. nothing changes. i've been here before.
uh... hot.
and it was at that point where your mind shuts off and you're not thinking anymore. you can't. you're just doing. and feeling.
years pass. nothing changes. i've been here before.
uh... hot.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
mission accomplished
i got my A in the von blum summer class. which means i officially sealed my summa cum laude business. i would have been so bummed if that didn't happen.
now i can go back to being bummed that school's done. =/
now i can go back to being bummed that school's done. =/
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
this is so weird
save for moving down my furniture and my once-a-week commitment at work, i have nothing to do. noooooothing. i don't know what to do with myself.
i got my tickets to the philadelphia show today. i have always wanted to go see trent on my birthday! i wish new york were tomorrow and not in practically a month!
~
ok, i stole this from xavier. i'd put this behind a cut, but this is very difficult to do on blogger. i miss my livejournal. :(
Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
yes
Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you?
umm.... sort of. they told me they don't plan to not be with me later on.
Has anyone ever told you they are in love with you?
yes
What's your relationship with the person you last texted?
coworker. he always sends me the most random messages... but they're fun.
What are your plans for today?
hopefully completely moving out of the apartment. exciting.
Where was your default taken?
this isn't myspace
Are you in a relationship, single, complicated, married,or engaged?
involved
Do you have a flip or slide phone?
nope. crackberry. as if i wasn't obsessed enough, now they gave me a camera so i can send people emails with random pictures attached.
Have you ever played games/hard to get?
not to be cute. i just wasn't sure that i wanted to get into it.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
not in a romantic situation
Have you ever broken someone's heart?
there has been some drama but i don't really know the answer to that question.
Who do you hate?
he knows who he is
What is your relationship with the last person you kissed?
we're in one
Do you wish someone would call you right now?
nope. i seldom wish people would call me. generally, i hate the phone. there are only a handful of people i like talking to. or have liked talking to. i don't really talk to a couple of them anymore so that really only leaves like, two.
Do you have any weird inside jokes?
i feel so sorry for anyone who doesn't. but yes, i do. mountains of them. i just cleaned out the trunk of my car (this is a HUGE deal: i packed all my favorite memories into it back when we had to evacuate the house due to the wildfires... the first time, in 2003) and i found this box full of stupid notes from high school. mostly from like, katie, mazen and jonathon. i forgot about so much stuff that used to be so hilarious. i miss everyone. i hate getting old. people laugh less when they get older. they're all mature and shit.
Do you find piercings attractive?
not in themselves. sometimes people look attractive with piercings, but i highly doubt it's because of the piercings.
Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
oh i plan on it.
Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
christina found out that i said her louis vuitton was fake and was really offended. i stand by my evaluation... and i also can't believe i was involved in an argument over the authenticity of a purse.
Do you miss someone?
so fucking much. i can't believe how different things are today from how they were when i was starting college. i made a lot of poor decisions and other people... well, other people change.
Do you bite your fingernails?
nope. there's nothing to bite. i clip them obsessively.
Are you hungry?
nope.
Does anyone call you babe?
just michael when he's kidding around.
What was the highlight of this week or what will be?
probably phantom of the opera on wednesday. it'll be good.
Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
um, i hugged peekers.
What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
routine check up
Who will you see the most this weekend besides family?
i really don't know. coworkers?
Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
i don't see why not. it's been almost 4 years so i don't think things will be changing anytime soon.
Do you drink tea?
not as much as when i was working for prof tom. he always made it for me and had a fantastic selection. at home i do not have someone to make it for me nor do i have a fantastic selection so i don't drink as much of it.
Have you ever wanted something you couldn't have?
oh yes.
What's the number one thing you want/need in life right now?
to pay off my school loan. that thing haunts me at least once a day.
Have you ever in anyway, been betrayed by someone you trust?
yes
How late did you stay up last night and why?
4 am... because i was reading.
Do you know anyone that is currently locked up?
like.... prison? no.
What was on your mind mostly today?
different things at different times. no dominating topic.
Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
mine
Where is the next place you will travel to?
probably la
Have you cried today at all?
nope
What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
zzz
Do you want to get married & have children one day?
getting married... i don't think it's something i need but it's not something i'm going to rule out. but kids... i really don't see that one happening.
What is your favorite color?
pink and black.
What was the last thing you bought?
golden spoon.
Do you like to eat ice?
only when i'm done drinking whatever i'm drinking. but you know who loves to eat ice? my dog. i'm going to post a video of her with an ice cube. you would thing it's the most delicious thing ever.
Are you happy?
uh... i'm too frazzled right now to really be happy.
Would you rather have a baby boy or girl?
a baby girl... dog. the way boy dogs pee freaks me out.
Do you like Redbull?
i tried it once, years ago, and it was so unbelievably gross. and because of that i won't try any energy drinks. there's always coffee.
Do you drink regular or diet sodas?
diet... but i really want to cut soda out altogether.
Would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot?
depends on the pizza. some taste better hot and others taste better cold.
What are you doing tomorrow?
.
What was the last thing you heard?
i'm listening to leonard cohen while i do this survey.
When is the last time you wore a dress?
today
Do you blow dry your hair?
not usually. my hair is a mess when i let it dry naturally but it's a straight up disaster when i blow dry it. god i hate my fucking hair. >:O i want to cut it so badly but i keep hesitating because it took sooooo long to grow it this long and i don't want to regret the decision. but i always like my hair when i chop it off. it's so much easier to manage.
Last restaurant you went to?
applebees :( i think most chain restaurants are gross... but i think chain restaurants that serve american food are particularly gross. noelle wanted to go because she was having dreams of cheese sticks. ... just give me sushi. or that weird clay pot thing at taste of thai. mmm. seriously, it's this pot full of glass noodles and vegetables with like, ginger and sesame and stuff. it's the best. ...how someone could prefer grilled cheese and cheese sticks to that is mysterious to me.
Do you believe in karma?
i definitely think that if you're a big enough asshole, it'll come back to haunt you.
How many days until your next birthday?
24.
How many kids do you want to have?
0
What are you wearing right now?
my very old, very tattered twiggy ramirez shirt.
Have you had the chicken pox?
twice.
Last person to lay in your bed other than you?
my sister
What's your favorite number?
5
What is the background on your cell phone?
peek
i got my tickets to the philadelphia show today. i have always wanted to go see trent on my birthday! i wish new york were tomorrow and not in practically a month!
~
ok, i stole this from xavier. i'd put this behind a cut, but this is very difficult to do on blogger. i miss my livejournal. :(
Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
yes
Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you?
umm.... sort of. they told me they don't plan to not be with me later on.
Has anyone ever told you they are in love with you?
yes
What's your relationship with the person you last texted?
coworker. he always sends me the most random messages... but they're fun.
What are your plans for today?
hopefully completely moving out of the apartment. exciting.
Where was your default taken?
this isn't myspace
Are you in a relationship, single, complicated, married,or engaged?
involved
Do you have a flip or slide phone?
nope. crackberry. as if i wasn't obsessed enough, now they gave me a camera so i can send people emails with random pictures attached.
Have you ever played games/hard to get?
not to be cute. i just wasn't sure that i wanted to get into it.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
not in a romantic situation
Have you ever broken someone's heart?
there has been some drama but i don't really know the answer to that question.
Who do you hate?
he knows who he is
What is your relationship with the last person you kissed?
we're in one
Do you wish someone would call you right now?
nope. i seldom wish people would call me. generally, i hate the phone. there are only a handful of people i like talking to. or have liked talking to. i don't really talk to a couple of them anymore so that really only leaves like, two.
Do you have any weird inside jokes?
i feel so sorry for anyone who doesn't. but yes, i do. mountains of them. i just cleaned out the trunk of my car (this is a HUGE deal: i packed all my favorite memories into it back when we had to evacuate the house due to the wildfires... the first time, in 2003) and i found this box full of stupid notes from high school. mostly from like, katie, mazen and jonathon. i forgot about so much stuff that used to be so hilarious. i miss everyone. i hate getting old. people laugh less when they get older. they're all mature and shit.
Do you find piercings attractive?
not in themselves. sometimes people look attractive with piercings, but i highly doubt it's because of the piercings.
Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
oh i plan on it.
Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
christina found out that i said her louis vuitton was fake and was really offended. i stand by my evaluation... and i also can't believe i was involved in an argument over the authenticity of a purse.
Do you miss someone?
so fucking much. i can't believe how different things are today from how they were when i was starting college. i made a lot of poor decisions and other people... well, other people change.
Do you bite your fingernails?
nope. there's nothing to bite. i clip them obsessively.
Are you hungry?
nope.
Does anyone call you babe?
just michael when he's kidding around.
What was the highlight of this week or what will be?
probably phantom of the opera on wednesday. it'll be good.
Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
um, i hugged peekers.
What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
routine check up
Who will you see the most this weekend besides family?
i really don't know. coworkers?
Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
i don't see why not. it's been almost 4 years so i don't think things will be changing anytime soon.
Do you drink tea?
not as much as when i was working for prof tom. he always made it for me and had a fantastic selection. at home i do not have someone to make it for me nor do i have a fantastic selection so i don't drink as much of it.
Have you ever wanted something you couldn't have?
oh yes.
What's the number one thing you want/need in life right now?
to pay off my school loan. that thing haunts me at least once a day.
Have you ever in anyway, been betrayed by someone you trust?
yes
How late did you stay up last night and why?
4 am... because i was reading.
Do you know anyone that is currently locked up?
like.... prison? no.
What was on your mind mostly today?
different things at different times. no dominating topic.
Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
mine
Where is the next place you will travel to?
probably la
Have you cried today at all?
nope
What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
zzz
Do you want to get married & have children one day?
getting married... i don't think it's something i need but it's not something i'm going to rule out. but kids... i really don't see that one happening.
What is your favorite color?
pink and black.
What was the last thing you bought?
golden spoon.
Do you like to eat ice?
only when i'm done drinking whatever i'm drinking. but you know who loves to eat ice? my dog. i'm going to post a video of her with an ice cube. you would thing it's the most delicious thing ever.
Are you happy?
uh... i'm too frazzled right now to really be happy.
Would you rather have a baby boy or girl?
a baby girl... dog. the way boy dogs pee freaks me out.
Do you like Redbull?
i tried it once, years ago, and it was so unbelievably gross. and because of that i won't try any energy drinks. there's always coffee.
Do you drink regular or diet sodas?
diet... but i really want to cut soda out altogether.
Would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot?
depends on the pizza. some taste better hot and others taste better cold.
What are you doing tomorrow?
.
What was the last thing you heard?
i'm listening to leonard cohen while i do this survey.
When is the last time you wore a dress?
today
Do you blow dry your hair?
not usually. my hair is a mess when i let it dry naturally but it's a straight up disaster when i blow dry it. god i hate my fucking hair. >:O i want to cut it so badly but i keep hesitating because it took sooooo long to grow it this long and i don't want to regret the decision. but i always like my hair when i chop it off. it's so much easier to manage.
Last restaurant you went to?
applebees :( i think most chain restaurants are gross... but i think chain restaurants that serve american food are particularly gross. noelle wanted to go because she was having dreams of cheese sticks. ... just give me sushi. or that weird clay pot thing at taste of thai. mmm. seriously, it's this pot full of glass noodles and vegetables with like, ginger and sesame and stuff. it's the best. ...how someone could prefer grilled cheese and cheese sticks to that is mysterious to me.
Do you believe in karma?
i definitely think that if you're a big enough asshole, it'll come back to haunt you.
How many days until your next birthday?
24.
How many kids do you want to have?
0
What are you wearing right now?
my very old, very tattered twiggy ramirez shirt.
Have you had the chicken pox?
twice.
Last person to lay in your bed other than you?
my sister
What's your favorite number?
5
What is the background on your cell phone?
peek
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