but what i'm really dreading is bringing all this shit down to the car. and the apartment is quite far from where i park. and there are annoying pathways leading to the car- bumpy, narrow. and lots of stairs. i'm really considering packing all this up and then hiring someone to carry it all for me. i didn't realize how much crap i have. maybe i should just straight up throw half of it away?
i just wanted to sit back and celebrate being done with school. but noooo. instead i'm sitting here, alone, and completely stressing about getting this mess out of here.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
DONE!
done done done donedoneondoneorwenrw!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just printed my last ever undergaduate paper. it took me twenty years to write it because i am SO DISTRACTED, but it's done and it's actually pretty good.
omigod so tomorrow is my last class of college ever. i'm excited to like, get to relax and not have to do this drive anymore... but i'm also kind of sad it's over. i really liked ucla. :( i'm going to have to get into grad school here, i've decided.
~
ok, besides that, i really wish i was going to new york, like, tomorrow. i can't believe i have to wait a month. but i guess that gives me lots of time to decide what to go see... any suggestions?
i just printed my last ever undergaduate paper. it took me twenty years to write it because i am SO DISTRACTED, but it's done and it's actually pretty good.
omigod so tomorrow is my last class of college ever. i'm excited to like, get to relax and not have to do this drive anymore... but i'm also kind of sad it's over. i really liked ucla. :( i'm going to have to get into grad school here, i've decided.
~
ok, besides that, i really wish i was going to new york, like, tomorrow. i can't believe i have to wait a month. but i guess that gives me lots of time to decide what to go see... any suggestions?
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
fuck texas.
for reasons i do not care to discuss, going to texas for the shows was becoming increasingly difficult and expensive. so i decided not to go.
instead, i am off to new york. instead of just going somewhere to see trent, i'm going on a proper vacation. i've always wanted to go to new york! and i already booked the flight, the hotels, bought the trent tickets and reserved a car. so there really is no going back now.
this is going to be SO MUCH BETTER than texas!!!
for the past few hours i've been the director of my own little travel agency. while the flight is not so expensive (and i get to go on virgin america... yes!), i didn't realize just how expensive hotels in manhattan are. it's like, everyone always says oh new york is soooo pricey, but everyone always says that about san francisco... or california in general, so i didn't take it too seriously. but anyhow, after digging around for seriously forever, i found a red roof inn, in manhattan, close to everything, with good reviews on tripadviser. let me tell you, my friend, this is no easy task. i'm still paying way too much, but it's ok. i'm going to keep thinking about it, and maybe we'll stay in new jersey instead. but i feel good knowing i got a place that's well located.
then it's off to the show in new jersey. i found a bus that goes directly from nyc to the arena the show's at. which is cool. i got some pretty decent seats in the section to the right of the stage. robin view!
then we'll hang out in new york and probably do all the stupid tourist crap. which i'm so excited to do!
then we'll drive to philadelphia.
i may have mentioned this before, but: nine inch nails is playing at the wachovia center (which is where the flyers play!) on the 29th, which is my birthday. i think it's a sign that i was meant to go to this show. what would be so cool is if instead of the opening band, the flyers played a game... then trent came out. :) for this show i got box seats. i've always wanted the fancy box seats with the vip entrance and no lines and like, coat check and shit. i was debating between floor and the box, but given that i am not going to be waiting for the front, there's no point in paying that much for a ticket (ebay) to stand in the back. these box seats are well located and were priced pretty much at face value.
then we'll stay in philly for the night, drive back to jfk airport and then back home.
this feels like such an ambitious journey, and i really hope i didn't overlook anything. i don't know what i could have missed. but like, i'm such a neurotic freak about going to shows and the fact that i'm going to these in areas that are totally unfamiliar to me scares me even more. but whatever, it's going to be so fun!
happy birthday to me!
~~~
in the meantime, i still have one paper to write and one apartment to move out of. ugh.
instead, i am off to new york. instead of just going somewhere to see trent, i'm going on a proper vacation. i've always wanted to go to new york! and i already booked the flight, the hotels, bought the trent tickets and reserved a car. so there really is no going back now.
this is going to be SO MUCH BETTER than texas!!!
for the past few hours i've been the director of my own little travel agency. while the flight is not so expensive (and i get to go on virgin america... yes!), i didn't realize just how expensive hotels in manhattan are. it's like, everyone always says oh new york is soooo pricey, but everyone always says that about san francisco... or california in general, so i didn't take it too seriously. but anyhow, after digging around for seriously forever, i found a red roof inn, in manhattan, close to everything, with good reviews on tripadviser. let me tell you, my friend, this is no easy task. i'm still paying way too much, but it's ok. i'm going to keep thinking about it, and maybe we'll stay in new jersey instead. but i feel good knowing i got a place that's well located.
then it's off to the show in new jersey. i found a bus that goes directly from nyc to the arena the show's at. which is cool. i got some pretty decent seats in the section to the right of the stage. robin view!
then we'll hang out in new york and probably do all the stupid tourist crap. which i'm so excited to do!
then we'll drive to philadelphia.
i may have mentioned this before, but: nine inch nails is playing at the wachovia center (which is where the flyers play!) on the 29th, which is my birthday. i think it's a sign that i was meant to go to this show. what would be so cool is if instead of the opening band, the flyers played a game... then trent came out. :) for this show i got box seats. i've always wanted the fancy box seats with the vip entrance and no lines and like, coat check and shit. i was debating between floor and the box, but given that i am not going to be waiting for the front, there's no point in paying that much for a ticket (ebay) to stand in the back. these box seats are well located and were priced pretty much at face value.
then we'll stay in philly for the night, drive back to jfk airport and then back home.
this feels like such an ambitious journey, and i really hope i didn't overlook anything. i don't know what i could have missed. but like, i'm such a neurotic freak about going to shows and the fact that i'm going to these in areas that are totally unfamiliar to me scares me even more. but whatever, it's going to be so fun!
happy birthday to me!
~~~
in the meantime, i still have one paper to write and one apartment to move out of. ugh.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
closer
i'm watching bootlegs from the seattle show. closer... trent looks really into it. now, that has got to be fake. that has GOT to be fake. i've seen the band 20 times and i'm pretty much sick of that song. i'm sick of how the crowd suddenly gets a million times more obnoxious the second they realize the song is on. and i mean, trent's performed that song like, twenty billion times. how could he NOT be sick of it?!
on the flipside, i wonder what it's like for that guy, justin meldal-johnson (i think) to play an iconic song like closer to a bunch of really excited fans? that's got to be exciting. he totally heard that song on the radio a bunch of times and never thought he'd actually one day be playing it.
k bye, that's it.
on the flipside, i wonder what it's like for that guy, justin meldal-johnson (i think) to play an iconic song like closer to a bunch of really excited fans? that's got to be exciting. he totally heard that song on the radio a bunch of times and never thought he'd actually one day be playing it.
k bye, that's it.
peekers will cut you
i just watched this video about fifteen times in a row, and laughed harder each time. i wish i had the balls to record her every time she tries to attack someone on a skateboard/skates/bike. then i could make a compilation of peoples' worried faces.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
my favorite angry old man
ok so the first couple shows of the tour have happened and now we're getting pictures and video. the set, from what i can see so far, looks really cool. and that new bassist guy may not be jeordie, but at least he seems really into it.
looks like i'm adding texas to my tour itinerary. i really wish i could go somewhere cooler, but flying to texas is cheap and the shows happen to fall on good days. it's just funny because i've been to houston once and i swore i'd never go back... and couldn't really foresee any reason that i'd need to go there. guess i was wrong.
it would have been better to go to the east coast because you could do way more shows since everything is so close together... but it costs too much to fly there (damn oil prices!) and even more for hotels. the hotel i work for has a few texas properties so i'm going to get a sweet deal for very fancy places.
~
my second-favorite angry old man, von blum, has assigned a final paper that i have no idea how to approach. it could be because i haven't yet watched the movies they cover... or it could just be that they're difficult prompts. plus, words cannot adequately describe how over this i am. come ON guys, this is my last ever undergraduate paper, and i really don't want to write it. let's just end this already.
~
k bye.
oh, ps: i'm glad to see in this twilight made it onto the set list because i've been dying to hear it live ever since i first heard the song. i think it'll be AMAZING and fill every inch of the arena beautifully.
looks like i'm adding texas to my tour itinerary. i really wish i could go somewhere cooler, but flying to texas is cheap and the shows happen to fall on good days. it's just funny because i've been to houston once and i swore i'd never go back... and couldn't really foresee any reason that i'd need to go there. guess i was wrong.
it would have been better to go to the east coast because you could do way more shows since everything is so close together... but it costs too much to fly there (damn oil prices!) and even more for hotels. the hotel i work for has a few texas properties so i'm going to get a sweet deal for very fancy places.
~
my second-favorite angry old man, von blum, has assigned a final paper that i have no idea how to approach. it could be because i haven't yet watched the movies they cover... or it could just be that they're difficult prompts. plus, words cannot adequately describe how over this i am. come ON guys, this is my last ever undergraduate paper, and i really don't want to write it. let's just end this already.
~
k bye.
oh, ps: i'm glad to see in this twilight made it onto the set list because i've been dying to hear it live ever since i first heard the song. i think it'll be AMAZING and fill every inch of the arena beautifully.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
time flies when you're not paying attention
wait, it's the end of july and i have to move and i haven't even begun packing!
and how the hell am i supposed to get my crap back to san diego? rent a truck, i guess. that's a lot of lifting and i'm so not looking forward to this.
and how the hell am i supposed to get my crap back to san diego? rent a truck, i guess. that's a lot of lifting and i'm so not looking forward to this.
Monday, July 21, 2008
truth?
the dark knight, at two and a half hours, is too long, son.
i'm still deciding whether i liked the movie. i'd get into it sometimes but other parts just draaaaged.
but regardless, heath ledger was unbelievable. that joker fucking creeped me out. THAT'S the kind of villain i like to see.
too many movies feature "bad guys" who are just money-hungry, power-hungry assholes who piss you off but never really frighten you. part of what makes bad guys scary is the fact that they're completely insane and you don't really know why they're doing what they're doing.
i don't want to say a lot because i don't know who's seen it yet, so i'll stop.
but i went into this thinking that ledger's performance was probably vastly overrated because he's dead, but that really isn't the case. he was good.
i just wish the movie on a whole had been better.
i'm still deciding whether i liked the movie. i'd get into it sometimes but other parts just draaaaged.
but regardless, heath ledger was unbelievable. that joker fucking creeped me out. THAT'S the kind of villain i like to see.
too many movies feature "bad guys" who are just money-hungry, power-hungry assholes who piss you off but never really frighten you. part of what makes bad guys scary is the fact that they're completely insane and you don't really know why they're doing what they're doing.
i don't want to say a lot because i don't know who's seen it yet, so i'll stop.
but i went into this thinking that ledger's performance was probably vastly overrated because he's dead, but that really isn't the case. he was good.
i just wish the movie on a whole had been better.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
i have important things to worry about
just today i learned about this wonderful website called surf the channel. it has lots and lots of tv seasons and movies right there for you to watch. my dumb ass has been ordering tv seasons on netflix, thus making it a really long process to get through one season.
so tonight, i decided to watch something, and i just got through one episode and now the website isn't working!!! what is going on? is it down forever? or just for right now? i want it back! here's a perfect opportunity to sample things i've been way too scared to watch. or watch things that i completely missed out on... like season one of project runway.
~
also, i think i'm going to try out rhapsody. it has everything.
~
also, i ordered the slip. i'm not really that into the album, but it *is* a limited edition so i may as well get it just for the sake of my collection. i can't not have a major trent release, even if it isn't his strongest.
speaking of trent, now that i've decided not to get a serious job until after september, i am back to wanting to go see at LEAST another show other than oakland and la. but really, the only feasible one in driving distance is salt lake city. driving to such a foreign state frightens me. i've only ever driven to nevada and like, northern california. but the drive to slc is 10 hours. which really isn't so bad. i just don't know what to do! i think i should do it. i don't know when i'll be free to do this ever again.
~
like i just mentioned, i don't think i'm going to look for a serious job until october-ish. i still haven't heard back from that one job i interviewed for, and they warned me it could take up to a month. this annoys me.
plus i went ahead and made a million plans for september. shows and vacation. and you know what? that's ok. for some reason i felt this insane push to get a job right away, but my original plan was always to finish college and chill the fuck out for a few months. i figure i can worry about that come october, when all of the fun stuff is out of the way.
then i can worry about which city to look in. (to be really honest with you, la is really only attractive to me because then i could get a season ticket to see the kings.) then i can worry about grad school decisions. i can worry about all this.
for right now, i'm going to focus on enjoying my last two weeks as an undergraduate, enjoy listening to von blum rant about things, and until i get a "real" job, i always have estancia. it's still money.
ok bye. time to check if surf the channel is working yet.
ps- it's not. :(
and i miss hockey SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!
all this news is coming out- they're completely shuffling the team around. they've gotten rid of some of the biggest names and have a new coach and i want the season to START already! but it's not going to for SO LONG! OY!!!!!!!!!!
so tonight, i decided to watch something, and i just got through one episode and now the website isn't working!!! what is going on? is it down forever? or just for right now? i want it back! here's a perfect opportunity to sample things i've been way too scared to watch. or watch things that i completely missed out on... like season one of project runway.
~
also, i think i'm going to try out rhapsody. it has everything.
~
also, i ordered the slip. i'm not really that into the album, but it *is* a limited edition so i may as well get it just for the sake of my collection. i can't not have a major trent release, even if it isn't his strongest.
speaking of trent, now that i've decided not to get a serious job until after september, i am back to wanting to go see at LEAST another show other than oakland and la. but really, the only feasible one in driving distance is salt lake city. driving to such a foreign state frightens me. i've only ever driven to nevada and like, northern california. but the drive to slc is 10 hours. which really isn't so bad. i just don't know what to do! i think i should do it. i don't know when i'll be free to do this ever again.
~
like i just mentioned, i don't think i'm going to look for a serious job until october-ish. i still haven't heard back from that one job i interviewed for, and they warned me it could take up to a month. this annoys me.
plus i went ahead and made a million plans for september. shows and vacation. and you know what? that's ok. for some reason i felt this insane push to get a job right away, but my original plan was always to finish college and chill the fuck out for a few months. i figure i can worry about that come october, when all of the fun stuff is out of the way.
then i can worry about which city to look in. (to be really honest with you, la is really only attractive to me because then i could get a season ticket to see the kings.) then i can worry about grad school decisions. i can worry about all this.
for right now, i'm going to focus on enjoying my last two weeks as an undergraduate, enjoy listening to von blum rant about things, and until i get a "real" job, i always have estancia. it's still money.
ok bye. time to check if surf the channel is working yet.
ps- it's not. :(
and i miss hockey SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!
all this news is coming out- they're completely shuffling the team around. they've gotten rid of some of the biggest names and have a new coach and i want the season to START already! but it's not going to for SO LONG! OY!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, July 7, 2008
this. weekend.
was terrible!
medical ailment presented itself on friday, and by saturday was really really bad, and by sunday was treated but left me feeling majorly yucky. i don't want to go into too much detail, but like...i didn't know things could progress so quickly!
it's scary. now i'm scared i'm going to get some random disease and die a day later!
so yeah, the weekend sucked.
but at least i got my incentive check. that's cool, i guess.
medical ailment presented itself on friday, and by saturday was really really bad, and by sunday was treated but left me feeling majorly yucky. i don't want to go into too much detail, but like...i didn't know things could progress so quickly!
it's scary. now i'm scared i'm going to get some random disease and die a day later!
so yeah, the weekend sucked.
but at least i got my incentive check. that's cool, i guess.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
mini mes
so lately everyone has been trying to convince me that i want kids, that i should want kids or that i will at one point want kids.
i woke up to a voicemail telling me that i should have them. two nights ago i was accosted by several family members telling me that they don't believe i don't want kids and that someday (soon) i will change my mind. a friend was telling me that i won't know i want one until i'm knocked up (what?). the list goes on...
see, the first thing about all this is that it's all very condescending. all of you knowing what's best for me and me, silly me, being blind to the inevitable.
why does it upset people so much?
is it something about me? am i so amazingly cool that people can't believe i wouldn't want to reproduce?
or is it the idea of a female not wanting to have children... because we're the ones who are supposed to dream of the family life, the house, the kiddies running around? is it just completely unbelievable that a female not only doesn't want children but actually does not LIKE them?
and for the older generations, like my parents and my aunt and uncle, do they see it as an insult? like, here is this young brat completely rejecting the life we worked so hard to provide?
~
i think the first very major problem is how much i hate children. ok, newborns are butt-ugly. and they scream and you have to wipe up their shit. it's disgusting. in restaurants, when someone has a screaming newborn, i want to kill it. and that's just five seconds of exposure. then once they're a litle bit older, they get kind of cute... until they start screaming and throwing up, then they're disgusting again.
then once they can talk... it's like, what the hell do you talk to a little kid about? they annoy me so much when they come tell me nonsense stories about shopping for toys and grandma's house.
then once they start school they get all hyperactive and dirty. elementary school kids are always dirty and smelly.
...then people always tell me that i'll feel differently once it's my own kid.
really? will i? or will i resent that kid so much for destroying my life?! there's this fantasy everyone holds about how much everyone loves their children. but really, there are lots of miserable parents with miserable, mistreated children out there because the parents didn't really want to have kids.
second of all, i have a little sister. god she grossed me out until she was much, much older. and i also have a little cousin... i couldn't stand him until he was like, 7 and had a personality.
...if i was saying all this about, say, dogs, people would say "whoa, she really shouldn't have a dog." and they'd be right. how come, then, once it's an actual baby i'm supposed to overcome all this?
~~~
next, money. fun. work.
look, i don't know what i plan on doing for a career, but i do know that i plan on having one. and what's the thing that most commonly comes between a woman and her plans to be successful? "oh well, i was young and got married and had kids and then i had lots of responsibilities..."
...people always tell you life doesn't turn out the way you plan and how things change and yada yada. but provided that i don't suffer brain damage in a car crash, and provided that i don't have kids i need to worry about... i'll be here, with presence of mind and the ability to work hard to achieve something.
i'll be DAMNED if i turn into one of those girls who gives up everything to get some crappy job and take care of the kids. or one of those girls who keeps her career and hands the kid off to a nanny and never sees the kid. what's the point?
~
then, once you have a kid, fun leaves. your identity leaves. you're no longer "roseline" with likes and dislikes, trips to wherever, always at a hockey game, staying up late and watching whatever... you know, the person you are. you can't just go out. you become "mom." moms look tired all the time, probably because they are tired all the time. moms rarely have time to go to the movies or go on trips or read or listen to a stack of new albums or any of that. moms do the family shopping, take the kids wherever they need to go, help with homework, clean and complain to fellow moms on the phone. really? is that appealing? yeah, it's selfish and i'm ok with that. having a kid essentially means signing your life away and turning into a servant to said kid for years and years. and if i really, really wanted a kid then maybe i'd be okay with that. but since i don't even want one in the first place... you see my point.
~~~
also, it strikes me as incredibly vain and pointless to actually make your own kid. there are so many kids who need parents already in existence... like, what difference does it make that i grew my own?
when people try to convince me that i want kids, i tell them that maybe one day when i'm much older and bored, i'll adopt. maybe. but then they say no no no no no you have to have your own.
why? i don't care that it looks like me.
so why have a kid? purely just to further the bloodline? i thought the point was to love someone and like, complete your family life or some shit. why can't you do that with an adopted kid? why does it have to come out of my vagina?
so if having a kid is only really an option as long as it is biologically yours... i just don't get it. this world sucks. this world sucks hard. do i really want to make new people to be in it? i think the best thing would be to just like, get a kid that already exists.
~~~
ok that's pretty much the end of my rant.
peace out.
i woke up to a voicemail telling me that i should have them. two nights ago i was accosted by several family members telling me that they don't believe i don't want kids and that someday (soon) i will change my mind. a friend was telling me that i won't know i want one until i'm knocked up (what?). the list goes on...
see, the first thing about all this is that it's all very condescending. all of you knowing what's best for me and me, silly me, being blind to the inevitable.
why does it upset people so much?
is it something about me? am i so amazingly cool that people can't believe i wouldn't want to reproduce?
or is it the idea of a female not wanting to have children... because we're the ones who are supposed to dream of the family life, the house, the kiddies running around? is it just completely unbelievable that a female not only doesn't want children but actually does not LIKE them?
and for the older generations, like my parents and my aunt and uncle, do they see it as an insult? like, here is this young brat completely rejecting the life we worked so hard to provide?
~
i think the first very major problem is how much i hate children. ok, newborns are butt-ugly. and they scream and you have to wipe up their shit. it's disgusting. in restaurants, when someone has a screaming newborn, i want to kill it. and that's just five seconds of exposure. then once they're a litle bit older, they get kind of cute... until they start screaming and throwing up, then they're disgusting again.
then once they can talk... it's like, what the hell do you talk to a little kid about? they annoy me so much when they come tell me nonsense stories about shopping for toys and grandma's house.
then once they start school they get all hyperactive and dirty. elementary school kids are always dirty and smelly.
...then people always tell me that i'll feel differently once it's my own kid.
really? will i? or will i resent that kid so much for destroying my life?! there's this fantasy everyone holds about how much everyone loves their children. but really, there are lots of miserable parents with miserable, mistreated children out there because the parents didn't really want to have kids.
second of all, i have a little sister. god she grossed me out until she was much, much older. and i also have a little cousin... i couldn't stand him until he was like, 7 and had a personality.
...if i was saying all this about, say, dogs, people would say "whoa, she really shouldn't have a dog." and they'd be right. how come, then, once it's an actual baby i'm supposed to overcome all this?
~~~
next, money. fun. work.
look, i don't know what i plan on doing for a career, but i do know that i plan on having one. and what's the thing that most commonly comes between a woman and her plans to be successful? "oh well, i was young and got married and had kids and then i had lots of responsibilities..."
...people always tell you life doesn't turn out the way you plan and how things change and yada yada. but provided that i don't suffer brain damage in a car crash, and provided that i don't have kids i need to worry about... i'll be here, with presence of mind and the ability to work hard to achieve something.
i'll be DAMNED if i turn into one of those girls who gives up everything to get some crappy job and take care of the kids. or one of those girls who keeps her career and hands the kid off to a nanny and never sees the kid. what's the point?
~
then, once you have a kid, fun leaves. your identity leaves. you're no longer "roseline" with likes and dislikes, trips to wherever, always at a hockey game, staying up late and watching whatever... you know, the person you are. you can't just go out. you become "mom." moms look tired all the time, probably because they are tired all the time. moms rarely have time to go to the movies or go on trips or read or listen to a stack of new albums or any of that. moms do the family shopping, take the kids wherever they need to go, help with homework, clean and complain to fellow moms on the phone. really? is that appealing? yeah, it's selfish and i'm ok with that. having a kid essentially means signing your life away and turning into a servant to said kid for years and years. and if i really, really wanted a kid then maybe i'd be okay with that. but since i don't even want one in the first place... you see my point.
~~~
also, it strikes me as incredibly vain and pointless to actually make your own kid. there are so many kids who need parents already in existence... like, what difference does it make that i grew my own?
when people try to convince me that i want kids, i tell them that maybe one day when i'm much older and bored, i'll adopt. maybe. but then they say no no no no no you have to have your own.
why? i don't care that it looks like me.
so why have a kid? purely just to further the bloodline? i thought the point was to love someone and like, complete your family life or some shit. why can't you do that with an adopted kid? why does it have to come out of my vagina?
so if having a kid is only really an option as long as it is biologically yours... i just don't get it. this world sucks. this world sucks hard. do i really want to make new people to be in it? i think the best thing would be to just like, get a kid that already exists.
~~~
ok that's pretty much the end of my rant.
peace out.
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